As you know, this week we've started looking at the 6 (+1) Traits model of reading and writing. We're going to be using this model as a way of thinking about our own writing and about other people's writing, dividing writing into the six traits of
IDEAS, ORGANISATION, VOICE, WORD CHOICE, SENTENCE FLUENCY, CONVENTIONS
and the additional trait of
PRESENTATION.
For homework this week, I'd like you to think about CONVENTIONS. (I'm sure you remember, this means things like spelling, punctuation, grammar, usage, capitalization and paragraphs.)
Read the following piece of writing, and fix any errors you see with spelling, punctuation, grammar, capitalization, paragraphs etc. (It's up to you how you do this; if it were me, though, I'd copy and paste this into a Word document and then make the changes that way, rather than typing it all out again by hand.)
i dont now what made me wake up but i think it might have been a noise like a bang or something anyway one minute i was dreaming and the next minute i was lying there stairing up at the ceiling wondering what had happened then the next thing i knew my dad burst threw the door of my bedroom Dean Dean he yelled You have to Get Up Now There Is A Fire AND SO I JUMPED OUT OF BED I was panicing a bite because i could smell smoke and i new that IT WAS not Ajoke. My heart was beeting so lowd and i felt like mabey I was going to through up or something because i could tell that this was real. it wasn't exciting like on tv it was just scary and i felt very small and unsafe even thow i was at home in my room witch is where i normally feel safe and strong. i was really scared but the first thing i thought about was my baby brother Sammy. Sammy is real small and he cant do anything properly yet not even walk or talk or anything he mostly just lies there gurgling and looking cute and filling his nappy with stinks he is a bit annoying really because he's too little to do fun stuff and when he starts screaming i just want to scream right back at him. but all that didn't matter any more all that mattered was keeping him safe. I ran out into the corridor after dad and dad looked at me with his face all serious and he said Dean take your baby brother outside you have to keep him safe. I took Sammy in my arms and he was squirming around and making cross noises but i didn't care that he was heavy or that he smelled like he needed his nappy changing i felt so important and grown up right then because i knew that it was up to me to keep sam safe and dad was trusting me with this like I was a grownup. I was nearly eight but right then i felt like a grown man and i knew that i would never let anything hurt my little brother. i carried Sam outside it was dark and the night air was chilly but it was full of the smell of burning wood our home was burning. i stood there on the lawn in front of our house and I looked up at it and wondered where dad was. I hadn't seen Mom at all yet. I wondered if she was stuck somewhere maybe and Dad had to bust in and save her. It was lonely out there on the lawn and Sammy started to cry but I jogged him up and down in my arms real gently and sang him a lullaby. I didn't remember all the right words but it didn't seem to matter too much and he quieted down again as I sang to him.
